Why, Angie, Why?

 Waning Crescent Moon

All you fans of Palomino and the Dream Machine may share in my embarrassment today upon receiving some pretty upsetting news from Fort Hancock, Texas. You may or may not recall my rave review of Angie's Restaurant in Fort Hancock on my ride westward toward El Paso in 2013. I sorta fell in love with the chicken fried steak at Angie's and professed my allegiance in black and white for all to read in perpetuam, if there is such a thing. Here is a refresher:

Redefining Chicken Fried Steak

10-14-13

 Once in a blue moon, somebody somewhere does something so well, raises the bar so high, that everybody else just gets blown out of the water. Like Bob Beamon’s long jump in Mexico City. Or the Beatles' "Abbey Road." Or Larry McMurtry's “Comanche Moon." Or Kurt Vonnegut's "Slaughterhouse Five." Or Ellen Page in "Juno." Or when Travolta tastes Uma's milkshake in "Pulp Fiction." It's so electrifying you can't touch it.

 Add tonight's dinner to the list.

 If you think you can cook, and you cook something you call chicken fried steak, you better start calling it something else. Why? Because Angie, soul proprietor and creative genius at Angie's Restaurant in Fort Hancock TX, has broken the mold. She has set the bar for chicken fried steak so high as to redefine it.

 After my chicken fried steak experience tonight, I won't dignify anyone else's amateurish attempts to duplicate it. If I see the words "chicken fried steak" on a menu somewhere else, I will smirk out loud. Angie's chicken fried steak crushes all the competition.

 Angie's gravy is supernatural. It bypasses your taste buds and goes straight to your brain, that sinful part of your brain which registers immediate and total ecstasy. It’s like a Grand Mal seizure, but in a good way. Her gravy shape shifts and transmogrifies as soon as it hits your tongue. FOOM!! It dazzles your yum neurons and puts your smile on keen factor five.

 I have no idea how long it took me to eat it. It could have been minutes. It could have been days. I was so transported I couldn't tell. When it came time to pay, I was befuddled. How could mere money possibly equate? $9.99? For a gravy ride to paradise?

 You should go. You should stop whatever you are doing, load up your bicycle, drive to some place 70 miles from Fort Hancock TX, like Van Horn or wherever, do battle with the wind all day to get good and hungry, and go. Immerse yourself in CFS heaven. It is SO good.

 Don't bring a lot of company, though. Angie's Restaurant is a tiny cinder block building a couple hundred yards off Interstate 10 and I doubt that it accommodates more than fifteen patrons, tops.

 I can't wait for tomorrow. Angie opens for breakfast at 6 a.m. I will be the first in line. If breakfast is as good as dinner, then that does it. I'm moving to Fort Hancock for good.

 Peace, Love, and Cholesterol, 

Palomino 

Photo from Google Images

Okay, remember now? I still plug Angie's chicken fried steak to anyone who will listen whenever the topic comes up. Granted, where I live, the topic hardly ever comes up, but still, I am ready to go to the mat to tout Angie as the greatest.  

A month or two ago, I was helping with the Friday food distribution at the local Community Center when Barbara, also a local volunteer and an avid reader, mentioned that she had just finished reading Palomino and the Dream Machine and it was her favorite of my three books. For some reason, I get that reaction a lot, probably because that one is just pure funny business without much reflection or education value. It's okay, I'm glad if anybody likes any of the books for whatever reason, but I think it's ironic that I put WAY more work into Palomino Nation and especially into Walks Far Man than I did the first one.

Anyway, back to Barbara. She just happens to have lived in New Mexico at some point in her past and had been jonesing for a road trip to revisit friends and places she had not seen in many years. She also is a big fan of chicken fried steak and other regional delicacies of the southwest. When she read Redefining Chicken Fried Steak, a plan was hatched to saddle up and go to Truth or Consequences, New Mexico, with a side trip to Fort Hancock, Texas and Angie's Restaurant. 

The trip occurred this past week and Barbara promised to report on her Angie's experience forthwith. I requested video of the first transmogrifying bite. I was so very excited. Judging from her text message a few nights ago sent from a hot pool alongside the Rio Grande Rift somewhere in New Mexico, so was Barbara. 

Unfortunately, yesterday I got some bad news. Barbara and her mate made it all the way to Fort Hancock by late morning on Tuesday, entered the modest little humble sanctuary of Angie's Restaurant, sat down trembling with anticipation, waited a few minutes to be served, and with happy, bright smiles, ordered the famous aforementioned chicken fried steak from the stained, dog-eared, laminated paper menu. 

Photo from Google Images

Then it happened. 

Angie stated without fanfare that she ran out of chicken fried steak sometime Monday, but the Angie's Burger is pretty good.

Oh no!!

Barbara explained about the bicycle dude in 2013, the description in his book, the chance meeting in San Juan Bautista, and the trip all the freaking way across the southwest to pay homage to the gravy goddess. Angie, although friendly enough, was not moved. The facts were that she was still out of chicken fried steak and the Angie's Burger was still pretty good. Damn, so disappointing!

The Angie's Burger, of course, was very good. Just not transmogrifying, if you know what I mean.

Peace, Love, Truth, and Kinda Sad Consequences,

Jim